The Continuation of our lives

The continuation of our lives…

As reality comes to an end, thou shalt expect the worst… Did I mention the worst? Last time I could only keep on scratching the pot’s surface, by saying that I have been the result of the love I had from a stranger. It is different to have friends and people that care about me simply because I have made a difference in my life. I am expecting a hello from those who are willing to understand, and to be that part of me. Why is thee so indifferent with myself? I never let a chance to introduce myself. My name is chaos and I have been a victim of love… I have fallen from the last floor of audacity. That what my eyes have witnessed is an atrocious sacrifice towards my integrity and my wishes to be eternal. Those who have laughed at this point have regretted their emotions beyond the human existence and have accepted them as a price within their human spirit. To say that this is the love I deserve is as false as putain!

You have finally accepted and acknowledged my destiny. Instead of feeling simply as a piece of erroneous material for your own entertainment, I have valued my humble piece of life and reinforced my ordinary feelings. From an ironic point of you, I am sorry for giving you a rather unrecognized aura.

Don’t fear precious, I’m here. Just stay away from the window; go back to sleep… pay no mind to the rebel. Head down go to sleep in the river of your wardrobe. Pain, truth and choice and other poison devils… they do not give a fuck about you, like I do. Make your mind young child; pay no mind to the rebel. Swimming through the river like the watering, since your body is like sheep within the river of the wardrobe. Stay with me… safe ignorant just stay with me… who are you protected from the other one’s the evil ones….. Go back to sleep.

If I had a chance to tell you all I feel towards you, you wouldn’t have room in the sky to cheer you up in the lonely mornings, while you think of her instead of me; while we have placed your hopes within me. And you know what? Life changes, people change, té Para tres… If we were to analyze this previous statement, we would know that I am emphasizing on the fact that I am willing to make a change for the sake of another individual. Would this possibly be considered a human sacrifice? Is it because I have sacrificed my emotions instead of fighting for them? Vielleich… aber ich weiβ jetzt nicht ob ich ihn veloren habe. I am really sorry my love, but in the long path in life, you will recount the steps you have given during this eon we have named Ruiz.

To be continued...

Dre 30/07/07

The Beginning of it all

One Thousand and One lives lived

Throughout the years we all experience different emotions; these feelings are what drive us to rejoice upon our own spirits. Reasoning about whether or not we do exist is rather not an option for those of us who choose to live life one day at the time. We just… live; we laugh, we get hurt, we simply are. What am I getting at? You may ask. Well, I am simply trying to make it clear that, regardless of all the things I have personally gone through, I am still proud of being a human being. I have, or at least I believe, that I have learned from my experiences. I will still fall to the ground every time I meet a person with whom I most likely will fall in love. If we take the time to analyze the last sentence, we will notice that by saying “With whom I most likely will fall in love”, I am assuming that it is going to be a mutual feeling. That is exactly my problem; I always assume it is going to be mutual; it never is. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the beginning of the one thousand and one lives lived.

As of yesterday I realized that it doesn’t take an individual to ever drag you down. I don’t mean it in the literal sense of the word. I mean that a man or a human entity will never be able to destroy you by their own means. The only thing they can do to destroy you as an individual would be to feed those emotions repressed within one’s self. These are the ones that disable us to stop being so insecure and self-conscious. They can be good at times, when used as some sort of motivation in order to improve one’s life. Not always the results are ideal. There is a difference between trying to stay fit by the natural means of exercising and keeping a good diet, versus those who choose other more passive-aggressive methods. At this point, self-control comes into place, as well as integrity and self-admiration. Not to the point of being considered a narcissist, or an arrogant fils de putain!

The problem with love is a tendency that inclines towards the side of the soul that will not be correspond by that individual who bends the reinforcements of your integrity. Love can be rather ironic at times, without us noticing, until we are very well covered by the last layer of soil above our heads. My experiences with love itself have not been many, but I can definitely scream at the tops of my lungs and admit to the entire human race that I have been a victim of love; and yes, I have been in love. It is not the most wonderful feeling, simply because I guess I have never been taught how to love properly.

To be continued...
DrE 29/07/07