The Beginning of it all

One Thousand and One lives lived

Throughout the years we all experience different emotions; these feelings are what drive us to rejoice upon our own spirits. Reasoning about whether or not we do exist is rather not an option for those of us who choose to live life one day at the time. We just… live; we laugh, we get hurt, we simply are. What am I getting at? You may ask. Well, I am simply trying to make it clear that, regardless of all the things I have personally gone through, I am still proud of being a human being. I have, or at least I believe, that I have learned from my experiences. I will still fall to the ground every time I meet a person with whom I most likely will fall in love. If we take the time to analyze the last sentence, we will notice that by saying “With whom I most likely will fall in love”, I am assuming that it is going to be a mutual feeling. That is exactly my problem; I always assume it is going to be mutual; it never is. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the beginning of the one thousand and one lives lived.

As of yesterday I realized that it doesn’t take an individual to ever drag you down. I don’t mean it in the literal sense of the word. I mean that a man or a human entity will never be able to destroy you by their own means. The only thing they can do to destroy you as an individual would be to feed those emotions repressed within one’s self. These are the ones that disable us to stop being so insecure and self-conscious. They can be good at times, when used as some sort of motivation in order to improve one’s life. Not always the results are ideal. There is a difference between trying to stay fit by the natural means of exercising and keeping a good diet, versus those who choose other more passive-aggressive methods. At this point, self-control comes into place, as well as integrity and self-admiration. Not to the point of being considered a narcissist, or an arrogant fils de putain!

The problem with love is a tendency that inclines towards the side of the soul that will not be correspond by that individual who bends the reinforcements of your integrity. Love can be rather ironic at times, without us noticing, until we are very well covered by the last layer of soil above our heads. My experiences with love itself have not been many, but I can definitely scream at the tops of my lungs and admit to the entire human race that I have been a victim of love; and yes, I have been in love. It is not the most wonderful feeling, simply because I guess I have never been taught how to love properly.

To be continued...
DrE 29/07/07